FAMILY RESCUE SERVICES

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What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is an assaultive behavior that is inflicted by a current or former partner; is verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual in nature; and is intended to harm the physical or mental well-being of the victim.

Family Rescue realizes that victimization can occur to both men and women. However, since over 95 percent of victims are women, females are referred to as the victims and males as the abuser.

Once violence begins, it usually continues and will occur more often and with more severity.

Women who are being abused express many confused thoughts and feelings about the violence in their relationship. They struggle to understand why it happens, who or what is causing it, and what can be done to stop it. Over the past twenty years, as more and more women have courageously come forward and talked about the abuse they have experienced, we have learned a great deal about the extent and severity of domestic violence.

Some of the tactics of control that a person may use include:

	Emotional Abuse Most women who are being physically abused are also being emotionally abused. The most obvious type of emotional abuse is being constantly criticized or degraded.
	Isolation Most abusers will isolate their partners, geographically, emotionally, or socially in order to keep them under their control. They may move the family miles away from friends and relatives or discourage a woman from having close relationships with others.
	Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming Abusers will often make their partners feel like they are “overreacting” to the violence. Abusers will minimize or deny the severity of the physical assaults and will refuse to acknowledge the controlling behaviors and constant attacks on the victim's self-esteem.
	Economic Abuse Many women report their partners frequently control access to their financial resources by withholding money from them, sabotaging their efforts to get or keep a job, berating them about how they spend money, and by lying about assets.
	Using Children One of the most prevalent, yet often minimized, forms of abuse is using your children to keep you in the relationship or to make you feel bad about yourself. Perhaps your partner repeatedly told you that you are not a good mother and if you ever attempt to leave, he will fight you for custody. These threats are very real to a woman in a battering relationship and may make her too afraid to leave.
	Using Male Privilege Part of an abuser’s belief system is a feeling that they “own” their partners and are entitled to demand absolute obedience from them.
	Intimidation Intimidating behaviors and actions can range from threatening looks or gestures to slamming objects and destroying property. An abuser will often destroy an item which has special meaning to the woman, while letting her know that she could be his next target.

Battering is a very powerful and effective form of control and any person experiencing this type of violence is likely to become temporarily immobilized. However, the more you can begin to understand what is happening, the better you will be at recognizing that he is responsible for his behavior, and that what is happening to you is not your fault.

To learn more about the Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid & Resource Collection, click here.

For the Center for Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence click here.

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